by Glitter | Jan 2, 2018 | Fashion, Inspiration, OOTD
It’s day two of the year that is new and I am oscillating between giddy optimism and terrified nervousness. January places so much pressure on each of us to be more than we were the year before, that you can’t help but feel the tension EVERYWHERE. Like this outfit. I loved this dress it when I styled it, but now I’m second guessing everything. Why did I put it with a coat no one can buy anymore? Berets are overplayed. Those earrings are like red snow man. Those flats again! I can do better. Why didn’t I do better?
I feel it so much with blogging. This is a good look, but when you’re bombarded with everyone’s best of lists from 2017 and their extra invested new content for 2018, it’s hard to just appreciate…anything really. I feel plagued with constant evaluation. Am I doing enough new? Did I change my game enough? The a number has changed in the way I write the year in date and now I feel like EVERYTHING MUST BE BETTER. Bigger. Louder!!! Bolder!!!! But, what happens when it’s not. 
In fact, I very well might be less today then I was a week a go. What now? Have I failed 2018? Do I have to return to 2017 because I am being held back in the middle school of life? I think I echo many people’s sentiments when I say- Oh god please don’t make me redo that year. 
So I stopped. I took a deep breath. I let it all go. The reality is growth and development take time and there is no magical date where if I complete complex puzzle of goal setting mixed with alcohol all my problems sort themselves out. I did not fail 2017. I have not already failed 2018. Change isn’t just for New Years. Change is for when you’re ready. 
I share this today to remind you that if you are feeling overwhelmed right now and if you feel like a failure, you’re not alone. It’s hard in a sea of messages reminding us of the things we need to fix to not feel overwhelmed. It is normal at this time of year. it will pass. And don’t worry; the opportunity to do and be better will always be there regardless of the date. Change when you are ready. Grow when you can. 
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by Glitter | Jul 7, 2017 | Inspiration
Recently I’ve seen a lot a of discussion about what is and is not “body positive.” I’ve done a lot of research and it seems there are a lot of articles pointing out what is and is not body positive, but very few attempting to explain the movement, why it’s important and what being body positive means. In order to help facilitate debate, educate the masses and also kind of sort out my own thoughts on the subject, I thought I’d take my own stab at it. This is 100% world according to Glitter and if you disagree, let’s talk about it. Because it’s through discussion, movements get solidified and organized.
What is Body Positivity?
For me body positivity is the belief that every individual has the right to exist, in whatever body they have today, tomorrow and in the future without pressure to attain an “acceptable body” or rejection from society if they don’t. In this perspective regardless of race, gender, size, disabilities, health, hair growth and whatever other variant you throw into the mix, a person’s worth and dignity is equal. They deserve the same rights. The same opportunities. The same access to knowledge and experiences. They also deserve the same representation in media and leadership.
What About Self Love?
You’ll note in my definition there is nothing about self-love, because to me body positivity has nothing to do with how much you love your body. Often times people use the phrase “I’m body positive” in exchange for ” I love myself”. But loving your body- even if it isn’t the societal norm- isn’t what body positivity is about. Your own self-love does nothing to increase the access to basic rights for people with marginalized bodies. Sure, the body positivity movement might have helped you find self-love, but they aren’t the same thing.
An important point to also acknowledge is that we often learn to love ourselves, but do not learn to accept and appreciate others. If you love yourself and judge someone else’s body, that is counter to the culture body positivity is trying to create. In line with this thinking, if you try to create any type of boundaries on which bodies deserve respect (the classic, ” I’m all for body positivity, but…” phrasing) you are actually hurting someone’s ability to exist freely in their body. In this regard, it’s totally possible to have self-love and not be body positive. They are decidedly different things.
What is Diet Culture?
Right now, there is a huge effort to re-purpose the political side of body positivity and use it sell things, primarily to women. You’ll often see body positive bloggers talk about “diet culture” or the idea that people are taught they need to constantly be trying to achieve the idealized body type. Now if you choose to go on a diet based on your own goals and ambitions or health- that has nothing to do with body positivity. It simply means you’ve made a decision to change your body and that’s really no one else’s business. However, if you write a post about how to lose “13 pound in 30 days” to be your “sexiest self” that is anti- body positive. Why? Because you’ve associated a change in your body (losing 13 pounds) with having a body this more accepted by the community (sexiest self).
Why is Representation Important?
Seeing different bodies and elevating images of different bodies is important because it creates a new norm. There was an experiment on racism- If you held up a flat picture of an unknown black man in front of a white person, the sections of his brain committed to anger and fear would fire. However, if you normalized the black man by giving him thoughts and feelings or showing him performing an everyday activity, the white brain would then show significantly less firing in these regions and expanded action in parts of the brain used for comprehension and compassion. The study found that one of the ways to decrease racism to was to integrate and educate different races about each other. Ignorance and avoidance were keys reasons for unnecessary anger.
Representation in the body positive movement is needed in the same way. If we can show all sorts of bodies doing all sorts of things to the world, the more comfortable and less fearful the general public will become of them. The opposite is also true, the less we see different body types, the scarier they become.
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by Glitter | Jul 2, 2017 | Inspiration, Uncategorized
When I looked at this photo all I could see was how freaking powerful it was. I was a neon on Phoenix conquering the seas and righteously ruling over the Carnival cruise’s adult bar/pool combo. It was poetically graceful, fiercely real and undeniably beautiful. I couldn’t help to want to share this magic with the internet. And so I did. I shared it on my instagram and facebook with the love and words that this image reminded me of. It was a special post and I was proud of it.
Was I Being Shamed?
It was only a few minutes before comments and private messages started to flow in regarding the women in the pool to the right of me. She was holding her iphone. Assumptions were made that she was taking a picture to shame me. She was called spiteful and jealous. The digital world had created a back story for a women who’s actions and intentions they could not confirm from just a single picture. Why had people so quickly gone looking for the bad in the image? I hadn’t even noticed her in the pool when I reviewed the shot because naturally I was too blinded by my own awesome.
The Surprising Truth
Upon further analysis, I realized that this wasn’t just any pool partier with her phone in hand. This was a woman, who during the cruise, had gone out of her way to come and said hello to me. She thanked me for being bold, brave and frankly not giving a damn. She said I inspired her to be comfortable in public as she was. If this woman had even been taking my picture (she could have very well just been reading her texts) it was very unlikely she was doing it to shame me.
We See What We Want To See
I share this example today because I think it’s important to note how much our own self perceptions and hang ups can get manifested onto others. If you go looking for shaming and negativity you will find it in buckets- even if you have to create it on your own. Sure, some people are cruel heartless beasts. They will mock you and maybe even snap a sneaky picture to try and embarrass you. However, the majority of the time, people aren’t out to get us. They don’t care what size we wear, what color our hair is or how pretty we are.
Choose To See The Good
Often the cruel world we perceive is all around us is created in part by our own insecurities. It’s easy to see and hear what we are expecting others to think of us. Don’t let those mental perceptions taint your reality and happiness. Self love comes acknowledging you are worthy and capable of receiving love from yourself and from the world around you. So next time you have the suspicion someone is talking negatively behind your back or discretely mocking you, stop yourself and think- ” do I really know this? Or am I allowing my own personal discomfort or previous experiences to be manifest on a stranger?” Use these moments to acknowledge your feelings, analyze where they come from, and grow stronger from them. The world is so much more beautiful when you stop looking for the ugly and start acknowledging the good.
by Glitter | Feb 14, 2017 | Inspiration, Life, OOTD
I have one Valentine’s Day tradition, and to be honest it might be my favorite holiday tradition of all time. Yes, this is odd given I am not a 24 hours de amor mega fan, but bear with me. See every year the night before Valentine’s Day, I drink. I drink a lot. I also cake my face in make up, tease my hair and then proceed to writhe like an animal on my bed and wipe at my face with reckless abandon until I look like the queen of hot mess- and the ultimate example of a love gone wrong victim. I then proceed to photograph myself, usually while consuming more libations, and fake crying. Not, no crying. Wailing. Screeching. Moaning. All over my lack of love. The results are the best and saddest Valentine’s photos you’ll see this year.
(here’s an example of last year’s shoot)
by Glitter | Nov 22, 2016 | Fashion, Inspiration, OOTD
This week’s theme is sequins and what I learned from shooting in a little glitz and glam is that I- as hard as this might be to believe- need more sparkle in my life. There is something about a good row of sequins that makes everything brighter. They reflect and shine what’s around them, rather then selfishly sucking in the energy. I look up to sequins! Sequins are the type of people I want to be.
Reflect the Good
Excuse me for what might be a far fetched tangent here, but it seems like sequins are a great analogy for life. I love justifying my fashion obsession with philosophy, so hear me out. Sequins have a magical ability of shining brightly by bringing to life, reflecting and extending the light that surrounds them naturally. With out the light of others a sequin fails to be more than a bizarre plastic disc with a little lustre. However, with the help of a little external glow that sequin sparkles to life. It reflects the good of it’s surroundings, and in turn grows in beauty.
Fighting Our Culture
We largely live today in a society that acts very much counter the way a sequin does. We measure our worth by how much do I control, how much I do , how much credit I receive, how much I achieve. To think externally and about one’s community in counter to what we are taught. We are pressured into thinking from children that we are in some weird horse race, constantly battling to be the top. In this world of mes it’s hard to focus on the we.
Why The We Matters
The more we focus solely on ourselves the more restricted we are in our potential. Let me explain. I am one person, with only a certain amount of talents, a limited sense of perspective and a certain mental capacity. I, by definition, am limited in what I can do. I could focus all my energy in doing something by myself and still not have the right resources to do it. However, when my goals and ambitions extend to include my community- viewing them as co-patriots to success rather than competition- suddenly I have a pool of talents to resource from, a varying set of perspectives and many more chances to succeed.
It’s hard to wrap your head around, and I am certain I have not done the concept justice with these words. Simply put, if you work to develop your community, your community will work to develop you and you will both be better than you could be individually.
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by Glitter | Nov 9, 2016 | Fashion, Inspiration, OOTD
The votes are tallied and boxes checked and I can’t help but feel disappointment. It’s not the outcome I hoped for. I am not confident in our countries direction with this new leadership. I am nervous. But today I remind myself that every cloud has a silver lining. I don’t think the US has been this emotionally involved in an election in a long time. Voter turn our was up nearly 5% with highly contested counties reporting voter turn out at over 70%. So regardless of who has won, it feels like America’s citizens are starting to care. We so long have been apathetic to it all and all I can hope is that in four years that renewed interest turns into citizens demanding more from their candidates. Better behavior. Better plans. Better thought. But first we have to be better. And the care and passion many voters have had this election season, shows that we can and hopefully will be better. So while all this is overwhelming and for some deeply disappointing, I refuse to buy into the end of the world philosophy that seems to be echoing through many’s hearts today. I believe is we can move forward if we continue to invest our emotions and energy into shaping America into the place we want to live. I won’t be easy, but the best things rarely are.
We All Have Flaws.
One thing I have worked hard to learn- and then regularly remind myself – is that perfect doesn’t exist. It’s really easy to see the flaws in things. This situation is teeming with flaws. However, the flaws are ALWAYS less than the good. We are simply trained to see what something can’t be versus what it can become. I believe one statement: people are mostly made of good. And we all have terrible ways of acting out on our own self interests, but at our core rarely are our intentions solely malicious. I am reminding myself of this today.
Self Love Through A Change in Perspective.
This oddly dove tails into one of the main ways I have found to improve my self perception. We choose to see the broken bits. We choose to the focus on the ways we are incapable, mediocre,and flawed. But there are so many many ways we are beautiful, impactful, and needed. To truly love ourselves, grow our confidence, and push away doubt- we must focus on our potential instead of our roadblocks. We have to choose to change our perspective and focus on just how powerful and meaningful we can become.
For example, I could see myself as loud, over the top, emotional and dramatic. Focus on how I’ve never been thin, have a hunchback, and patches of dry skin. Invest my energy in analyzing how I exaggerate, forget things, and sometimes I drowned myself in my work so I don’t realize that I am lonely.
Or I could see myself as a brilliant creative thinker, who works hard, and never gives up. I could remember that give nearly everything I have to others, because as long as I am not in need and I have more to give. I can see the way I always find a way to make people lough, smile at strangers, and regularly help others find direction in their careers. I can reflect how I have an uncanny knack to make others feel comfortable, even when I myself might feel out of place.
A Very Personal Example
Everyday I am presented with a wide array of opportunities to see my flaws or see my potential. For example, yesterday I felt disconnected from something and I started to question whether this was a result of me not being good enough. But as soon as I realized this, I committed to re-framing my perspective. Instead of thinking about what was wrong with me and having a mini pity party, I sucked it up and began to think about what I cold do to feel more plugged in. I focused on my potential to turn the situation around, which led to me making a few small tweaks. My day and feelings lightend. The choice was mine. I don’t always make the right choice, but the focus on constantly analyzing how I can see my potential has led to a significant increase in appreciation for myself. It’s help me battle demons. It’s helped me to shift the assessment of my value from external analysis to one of self awareness and love. I value and love myself because I am aware of what I capable of- now and in the future.
So today when everything seems less then ideal. When the world seems broken. When you feel bruised. Don’t Panic. Instead of putting energy into the loss, but your heart into the change. What needs to happen, so that this doesn’t happen again. How can your voice help educate and shape the way citizens see each other? How can protect those who now feel unsupported and unsafe? Now that people are angry and passionate, this is the exact time to focus that energy into the change. We can’t change the past, but we can shape the future. That’s what’s on my mind today.
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